Let me hear you call my name.
joyce twenty - one registered nurse and i truly love my job! i love my family and i'm proud to be a chc member, from CJ zone, alice's cg nothing beats living life to its fullest potential More than words.
miscellanous
You know you love me, too.
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delication to zuzhang
Monday, July 31, 2006
time will heal all w0undstoday was an eventful day..very! was like rushin pro in sch..sat in the lib fer a long time..close to 2-3 hours i guess..than it came..BAM! zuzhang was on msn.. zuzhang : u in sch? joy : yeah..in the lib zuzhang : oh..when is ur next lesson? joy : no more lessons le..i'm in the lib.. zuzhang : i come over to ur sch larx joy : no! why?! zuzhang : y u so scared? fellowship fer a while joy : ?! zuzhang : i meet you somewhere eles larx joy : can dowan? joy: do i have a choice? zuzhang : u think? zuzhang : i meet you at 4 at yck mrt than he went offline! i wasn't even given any choice..jus had to meet my DEAR leader..and yes, i was late but he was even later..tsk tsk..thot he so nice go walk walk..ha..we went PJ's uncle shoe shop..than he was lookin fer somewhere to sit down n "eat" so we went this shop in far east to sit down..bought drinks n all..than he took out his bible! and yes, we had B.S....not the normal bs he gives..but jus additional stuff that pst gave him in the past..and that sermon was like..wow..as if it was tailor made fer me.. after the b.s zuzhang : so what did u learn? joy : ermx.let me think abt it zuzhang : ok..u think..i go toilet come back u mus say le joy: orh.. when he came back zuzhang : why? msging nette arx... " nette~ jiu ming jiu ming " -laughs- joy : how you know?! zuzhang : i shall msg her too after the sharing joy : what did u tell nette? say lehz.. zuzhang : i told her that i gave u bs and u were like menifesting and she told me to deliver you and you will be like e guy b.kenneth delivered " no no~ go away " - laugh out loud- joy : -stares- and yes...his newest vocab ( chi ) gan gui nette, as i've told u..this entry is delicated to my DEAREST zuzhang~ deliverence?
Sunday, July 30, 2006
time will heal all w0undsalrites.. haha..jus came back frm svc n fellowship...felt the peace and joy i've never felt..lol..yes, yes, joy went fer deliverence * deliverence= casting out of demons* even thou i was conscious and i was thinkin but i cannot control my physical body..i jus had to let go and let God..and i'm glad i did... this sis frm SOT prayed fer me..together with 2 ushers who pin me down..( there were several demons thus needed the man power to keep me in control) and i was shocked at what she cast out of me..seriously shocked..u guys wil be shocked too i guess.. there are 5 of them.. 1) spirit of fear 2) spirit of rejection 3) spirit of low self esteem 4) sprirt of death 5) spirit of self-destruction ha..i myself was shocked...when she was praying fer me, in my head i was thinkin she mus be crazy..i don even know such demon existed in me..haha..but..thank God i'm cleansed! haha..wheni shared with zuzhang..he say it was expected...but it wasn't fer me..haha.. this is the feelin i never had..the joy that is from with..without bondage, without fear..i feel so free! like a little child! one who has no problems, full of joy and freedom from within..lol.. deliverence is good..the past few days of nighmare...its worth it..haha.. hey guys! thanks fer all ur encouragement! Wednesday, July 26, 2006
time will heal all w0undsjoy is here to update..haha.. hey guys..thanks fer ur care and concern ya..joyce feels loved! hahaa... and another good news..i passed my clinical exam! lol..almost died in there..haha..and i was late..grp meetin unti i forgot the time..haha.. went in with caren and had to pick the cards..thank God i got the one i wanted..was tested in three areas - temp, resp, pulse -urinalysis -NG tube feeding but i screwed up some areas thou...like the resp things..was so nervous than when i was countin huiping's resp i forgot to leave my fingers on her radial pulse so she wil not feel wierd..haiyo.. the urinalysis i charted the pH wrongly..suppost to be pH 5 i go chart pH 7..lol.. NG tube feedin went on quite well..but the gal infront of me empty the 'stomach' until inside left v v little water lorx...than cannot really asprite much content..not up to 5 mls..than i had to do ascultation...which i did not study much for..haha..but thank God she passed me...she wanted to fail my NG tube cuz i really can't rmb how to chart and i missed out alot of things that i needed to chart..like i forgot to chart output and that i fed water as well as the isocal.. she ask v unpredictable questions like..what should u look out for durin urinalysis...what happen if there's ketone..in what group of pple wil u find ketones..why are there ketone? proteins? blood?if the case is a new admission why TPR mus be taken in one full min..can die.. when she was writing my score..cuz they will on the spot circle pass or fail de..than she hestitate n look at me..and definately i gave her the worries look...and she says i need to be more confident, more precise and less anxious..than she say [i'll let u pass]. immediately u see that smile on my face..haha...of course..thanks huiping fer ur excellence pulse n temp that made it much easier fer me to chart..lol.. oh..went fer discipleship jus now..learnt alot of things..nt gona blog today larx..too much le..wanna go joggin..haha... joyce is alrites..
Sunday, July 23, 2006
time will heal all w0undshey guys..i'm alrite..yeah.no worries..haha.. -joy is always smiling- was full of frustration..decided to pray..but i couldn't..was v restless..last resort.took out my books and study..didn't realised that gt miss call..until ard 2 plus 3..than i replied all 3 msg and anknowledge the miss call.. but i'm alrites..guess i gotta go for anger management class...huibo! we can go together! haha..u can teach me controlled emotions.. maybe to many things are happenin..emotions build up..and i see myself building a wall of defence..ha.. anyone ever wondered why i had such strong reaction ytd? well.. disappointments build up in humans.. and to me, all the greatest disappointments comes from guys...that's why my reaction will be so hostile..esp guys that are immature, irresponsible.. that's why i did not go fer today's svc..marriage seminar? i'll go to the mountain top and be a nun..haha..nahz..if i do so the tai pian yi the guys le.. i will groom myself to be successful..i wil surpass all the guys..i wan the guys to fall under me..that when the guy stand beside me, he will feel ashame of being incapable..that he loses to a woman..that he's such a failure..i will not let guys over rule me..they shall be stepped under my feet..that shall never hold their heads high and walk when i'm around..they wil live in failure, disappointments in themselves forever till the end of their lives..when they look at me, they will feel guilty, useless..i will be successful! i will work hard! i will shw all the guys that i'm not weak! joyce is strong! JOYCE NI HUIMIN! YOU GOTTA STAND STONG! YOU WILL SUCCEED!SHOW ALL THE GUYS IN THE WORLD THAT YOU'RE NOT WEAK! FRUSTRATION!!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
time will heal all w0undsFRUSTRATIONS!CAN ANYONE FEEL THE FRUSTRATIONS?! NO! I TRIED I TRIED! I TRIED KEEPING THAT SMILE ON BUT IT WAS ONLY TOOK FOR GRANTED! I'M A HUMAN TOO! I'M NOT GOD! SPARE A THOT FOR MY EMOTIONS!DOESN'T MEAN THAT I SMILE ALL THE TIME U ALL CAN TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT! NO! I HATE GUYS! ALL THE GUYS LISTEN UP! GET OUT OF MY LIFE! NOW! shi jian bu deng ren
Friday, July 21, 2006
time will heal all w0undshaven been sleeping well..esp for the past 2 days...practically slept abt 6-7am..v tired..jus couldn't sleep.. BAM! every area of my life needs to be dealt with..nothing is to be left un touched..-great- haiz.. yeah... had HS1036 therory exam on wed..crat thru the paper lorx..seriously crap..they ask for assessments..i gave them everything including evaluation and some implementation...paryin hard that my prac can pass..ha. i know zuzhang won get to read this entry..(cuz he doesn't hold the password?) but i'm gonna say it out here..cuz i know i won be able to do it face to face..or even over the phone.. zuzhang... i know whatever you've been doing..u really meant well for me..sometimes i can't help it but to think that u does all these on purpose..you jus wana torture me..it may seems that i can answer you the questions so calmly, providing all the 'standard answer'..but deep down it jus hurts...i may not express that i feel the pain..know why? crying is not a option! crying in front of others, esp guys only mean that you're weak! and i'm not! joyce wil always hang that smile on her face..cuz oni she can protect herself in the cruel world..i'm not being rebellion..i'm jus expressing my thoughts..sorry if i've been mean and i've inorged you..i know its useless to keep saying sorry..actions speaks louder than words..and the only thing i can do is to use my actions to show my apology and gratitude..=x don leave things to the last min before you do them...cuz you'll never know what wil happen tml.. lookin forward to tt day..
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
time will heal all w0undsfinally got e time to blog again..v tired arx..these few days had been activity after activity..finally got 1 day no need go sch so early..in fact no need go sch de..jus tt got exam later..lol..HS1036 theory.. had been studyin with olivia n sylvie at mac..haha..and yes, guest appearance by zuzhang last night..HA!...no larx..cuz he giving olivia bs mahz..lol.. mummy bought me new stuff! 1 belt 2 shorts 1 three quard and i bought myself a new shirt! isn't it great..haha...time to pamper myself.. exams are commim..tension in sch is increasin..everyone seems to be mugin all the time..it stress me out to see them studyin so hard..i wil feel like i'm laggin behind by alot alot..and i don like tt feelin.. lots of things happened over the weekends..all the emotions + this stupid stress is getting me crazy..i've never really studied in my entire life! other than sec 2 mid year and sec 4 post prelims..that's all.. i jus feel like going MIA for a day...jus a day is enough..to keep all these things out of my mind..jus pure relaxation..no worries...don have to think about the tension at home..the stress from school..the disappointments..wouldn't it be so great? wel...joy is alrites..rmb joy always has a smile on her face..=) mich is gg OBS today! take care my dear...a black black mich wouldn't look cute anymore...opps..haha.. jess..mus stand strong alrites! u may hear this many times..that we're behind you..but actions speaks louder than words..u need help? call 93677395..hehe.. genie, ce,..mus work hard for sem exams! than we can grad abt the same time..we can go fer holiday together! haha..jia you jia you! photo update
Sunday, July 16, 2006
time will heal all woundsyeah..jus gonna do photo updates...v tires..tml got cg..at 1010am..toa payoh..   .jpg) .jpg) .1.jpg) .jpg) .0.jpg)  to busy..no time to blog..
Friday, July 14, 2006
time will heal all w0undshaven been blogggin fer the past 7 days..amazing..haha..had been quite busy..and surprisingly..its busy studying..ha.. let's start with frm the mon can't rmb what i did..haha..but i was definately foolin ard in sch..nt paying attention...monday subjects are simply nt interesting..lol..went fer dinner with sylvia.. tue, went to bugis shoppin with sasa, olivia and wc..haha..losta photos to update..but i keep forget to take the bluetooth adapter frm the other rm to use..haha..and partly cuz i'm lazy..as usual... i asked this stupid question in klass joy: cher..so it coma patient can get lungs infection than will they cough? shell : what do u think lehx? u gt see coma patient laugh before mehx? joy: i dunno mahx..maybe have lehx? all things are possible mahx.. whole clas : -laugh out loud- v. funny mehx..-hmph- thurs, got discipleship..hmm...at town..lol...before tt i went back to sac..spoke to co.. hey! i think i should change course lorx..my public speakin skills nt bad eh...at least i can catch the pple's attention...haha..but i think generallly what i said makes sense..i hope..lol... met up with bel...and as usual, somethings never change..she was late...close to 20 min late...lol.. went down town with olivia to meet the rest...stupid wc was sayin zuzhang bringin us somewhere after dinner..was wondering and wondering..and finally after dinner he said xiao zu zhang: dear brothers and sisters, i'm bringin you all to swensens wow..u see that smile on everyone's face..esp the sisters..lol.. thanks fer that treat xiaozuzhang..haha..the ice cream treat.. yeah..gonna meet alice after school..soon..another 35 min...gonna go fer katong laska...haha...yummy yummy...that's y i chose to wore black today...jus in case the gravy splashes onto my shirt..hehe.. huibo - wei! u mus been tell ur frens bad things abt me rites..hmph.. jayden- welsome to my blog..nt as nice as urs but still quite presentable i hope.. mich- i miss you too!!mus take good care of urself in OBS alrites..don miss me too much..hehe.. nie, jess, - hey guys..let's c when our holidays are together agn alrites..i'll be having my exams after mich come back frm OBS..haix.. shan- we shalll grow together alrites! wo men ke yi yi qi zhang da..and definately get our chi pitchin and all right..lol.. nette - belive me..i will press on..haha..one day i will become an anointed guitarist..playin in ur cg..lol..it will come to pass..HA! pro? con? or jus mixture?
Monday, July 10, 2006
time will heal all w0undsha..i'm in sch...library..feels so wierd..u will nv see me in library all my pri + sec sch life until sec 3 and 4 when i go fer tutorials or english class... amazingly..i'm always in the library in poly! why? got aircon mahx..kan slack..lol..and the breaks are so so so long..waste of my time only..lol..but its ok..got ping n shell to slack with me..lol was showin ping and shell one of my entry..sadly, they don hold my password..i jus don trust them enough..the time is too short..yeah..surprisingly, they agreed with my entry..the one abt pple in poly are scary...lol.. the past two nights had been super heavy..counsellin upon counsellin...i know its good for me..i know u guys wanna help..jus give me some time..there are always pro and cons..pro is that it wil help me..i can overcome this obstacle..it will not hinder my future...cons is it really takes alot of courage...alot of strength to deal with it..to bear the pain..give me time alrites... but its good! no idea why..most of us in the clique are facing problems..even jess n mich..but its alrites my dears..we have one another! rmb our monthly date ya..hehe.. alrites..gotta stop here..if nt they are gona make noise lerx....lol... recovering something, to heal something, to feel the pain again....
Sunday, July 09, 2006
time will heal all w0undsactually i already 3/4 thru my entry..and my dear dear nephew went to off the computr..and i cannot recover my post..gotta retype... yeah..no mood to post abt anythin eles..y? yes, its him, xiaozuzhang i admit, i really don share things in depth with him.. reason being.. i don trust him..in fact i don trust anyone..not even myself.. he made me go back into my past..back to the wounds..to nurse that same wound..the one that i have been hiding..the one that i've been avoiding.. and i hate it...it really hurts..it really does.. yes, the H.S had been prompting me..God had been tellin me to nurse that wound..to stop runnin away from it..but i jus dowan to...esp on fri cg..H.S had been prompting mt so hear that i could feel my heart beatin so so hard...and it was further comfirmed when xiaozuzhang prayed fer me... and he knows ir..he knows God had been talkin to me..and of course he tried making me talk...i resfue to...but he was seriously stuborn + persistant...i was left with no choice but to talk.. noone understands the pain..u all may be sayin..why am i always stuck in my past? why can't i jus move on..but why doean't anyone jus stand and put themselves into my shoes and think fer me..think abt my standin..my emotions..can't u all see that the upstage joyce that u guys had been seeing is simply jus puttin on a mask to cover up fer her hurts?for everythin eles? its only when noone is watching, noone is around..then joyce can take down her that mask and come before God, her Heavenly Father and cry her heart out, pour her troubles..everythime w/o fail..He will hold me tight in my embrace..He will say, " my beloved daughter, fear not for Daddy is here..I am here to protect you, to love you..come into My embrace and I will hold you close to My heart, My hand shall protect you, My love unconditional love will be with you forever, in My embrace u will find protection. I wil keep you from harm and hurts, comfort you in times of pain and heart brokenness " i felt like MIA-ing fer prayer meetin..but i still made a choice to go..God had never given up on me..i will never give up on Him...the biggest challenge now is to stop runnin away frm xiaozuzhang..i doubt i can..but.. all i need is..zzZzZzZzZ
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
time will heal all w0undshaven been blogin fer quite a few days..hmm.. busy with ICA presentations, practical exams, comim clinical theory exam on next wed..STRESS!!!!!! presentation was alrites...i was v v nervous..so i talked v v fast.haha..as usual..but overall..rosy tay's comment abt my grp is nt so bad..that was ytd.. today got prac exam...one word..HORRIBLE! all the unpredictable questions..i can get C i'll be v v happy le lorx.. my greatest motivation was [ i'm gonna be so dumb to suffer 6 more month taking this module again! ] haha..well, that was most of out motivations.the lect is super boring and the cher is so chim..can't even understand him..prac lab cher is gay..only has 'nicholas' in his class..everythin is nicholes this nicholes that..whatever larx... two major ICA is over..can take a short break.. i received my clinical posting..CHANGI lorx! the place that i most dowan go de..posted to a C class ward..with like alot of patients..and i found out tt for all restructured hospitals ( cch, ttsh sgh...ect) C class ward is about $25 per day..haha.. can't rmb what i wanna blog lerx..jus know that i'm super super super tired...all i need is ZzZzZzZzZzZ..the ICA and prac test almost took my life studyin fer that..esp the stupid bone de..here's a wed..u guys free go n try out on formin the skeleton..all the best..ha.. http://cmsbk1.nyp.edu.sg//cliksdmrroot/mount1//55947/skeleton.swf err..
Saturday, July 01, 2006
time will heal all w0undsbloggin..again.. was chattin to mich over msn..and is still chattin to her..had been doin quite a bit of counsellin... jus over the past 2 days..been counsellin 4 pple..with similar probs.. esp mich.. i feel v comforted..cuz i know i'm nt the only one tt is feelin this way..she's feelin like tt too..i really miss those days..even if i get bullied, we have quarrels, cold wars, misunderstanding, but the frenship is always there..we will always be back as a clique...reason? we have that trust in each other.. poly is scary..very..u really dunno when, who, will jus stab u frm behind...they are multi faced! and its really v scary how they'l manupulate pple to get things into their ways..how they find reason to defend themselves..push the blame to others.. i really miss those days.. special thanks to: - xiaozuzhang u may not know, but the little little things that u've done really makes me feel loved - alice my dear..thanks fer missin xin with me..for assuring me that i'm nt the oni one that misses her..thaks fer addin joy into my life..puttin a smile on my cheeks.. -nette my wonderful sister..thanks fer being there fer me, consellin me, sharin my joy no matter how tired u are... -mich u may nt know the impact of those words..its thru the msg that i really feel loved.. -jess, genie, ce i can feel ur love..really..it may be jus those few words in the msg..it may jus be a good nite msg..but i feel the love frm u guys.. i love u guys! surpise surprise!!
time will heal all w0undsha..i'm here to blog again...recently not much photo update..hasn't been in the mood to take photo...i can feel the stress level rising.. haha...gt back the 1031 sociology results ytd..to my surprise, i gt D+..was expectin myself to fail horribily...sociolgy = a math..pple who knows me well will knoe why i made such a comment...haha..pple who i tot will pass with flying colours fail..lol..know why? over-confidence..yes, mich n ping, i'm tokin abt them...lol.. and........i jus found out that all my main papers+ exams are commin..abt a months time..that's bad..haha.. esp when i'v been sleepin durin lectures nowadays..ARGH! opps.. tml's ah ma's b'day..gonna go deb n doris's hse fer celebration..bought this vegetarian cake..super ex..45.40..for jus 20cm..that's abt 600gm..but there's delivery, so nt too bad..gona shop her ah ma's present later..nt sure what to buy.. maybe i should jus buy one huge box and put myself inside.that should be the best present..hahaha! |
Goodbye.
michdaph huiying nanny raisa genie dewei denny victoria ci en xingjuan |
